A new distraction

Tonight Lacey prepared a delicious dinner of herb-encrusted salmon, mushroom couscous and vegetables. And at the same time we put Madeline in her new bouncy seat for the very first time. Unfortunately, it's hard to focus on enjoying a meal - no matter how delicious - when your laughing baby is bobbing and spinning just feet away.

Four-month check-in

We visited the pediatrician today for Madeline's four-month appointment. She got a second round of immunizations - four shots (see band-aids at left) and one oral vaccine. She cried during the shots but has been doing well in the hours since - we even enjoyed playtime on the floor. When she was last immunized two months ago she was drowsy in the afternoon but the pain from the shots made her cry much of the evening.

Madeline continues her strong growth. Today she weighed in at 15 pounds, 1 ounce. That means she's put on 1 pound, 5 ounces since her three-month check-in, or 21 ounces over the last 28 days. She's slowed down from her ounce-a-day weight gains, but that's normal for a 4-6 month-old. She's in the 85th percentile in weight.

She also has grown a full inch since her appointment four weeks ago, and now measures 24.5 inches. We noticed she was eating a lot about two weeks ago, indicating a growth spurt. She's still right at the 50th percentile in height - there's been no change from last month.

The seventeenth week

This week: The Experiment.

In recent weeks Madeline had a little difficulty getting to sleep in the evening. She often needed to be rocked and then would become restless and fussy when we put her down. So we decided to Ferberize her.

Named after Dr. Richard Ferber, the method consists of letting the child cry for lengthening periods of time to teach her to fall alseep on her own. At predetermined intervals, if the child is still crying, a parent calms and comforts her, but doesn't pick her up. On the first night the intervals are 3 minutes, 5 minutes and then every 10 minutes until she falls asleep. The second night is 5, 10 and 12. We didn't need to time the third night.

The first night was terrible. We felt like such horrible parents. As our baby wailed upstairs all we could do was sit on the couch, unable to concentrate on anything but the clock, counting down the minutes until we could visit Madeline and calm her. It was gut-wrenching, but we tried to tell ourselves that everyone was going to benefit from this (if it actually worked).

The second night was better, but still not great. She only cried half as long as the first night. But every other night has been a success - she has fallen asleep quickly and without lots of assistance from her parents. And as she's learned to sooth herself, she's also sleeping longer through the night - more than 8 hours straight in some cases.

Here's a rundown of the experiment this week:

Sunday: 38 minutes of crying, slept until 3:30 a.m. (the time she's been getting up for the past several weeks)

Monday: 18 minutes of crying, slept until 4 a.m.

Tuesday: no crying, slept until 6 a.m.

Wednesday: 5 minutes of crying, slept until 5:45 a.m.

Thursday: no crying, slept until 5:30 a.m.

The first days were hard on these new parents, but the payoff has been high. After a couple more weeks I think we'll be in a better position to determine if our experiment has worked.

Fingers and toes IV

Here's another installment in my series of photos capturing Madeline's smaller details.

Here's the first one.

Here's the second one.

Here's the third one.

The high chair

Today I assembled Madeline's high chair, which we actually received as a Christmas gift last year. At four months old, Madeline is nearing the age when she'll take her first tastes of solid foods, and I wanted her to have a chance to get used to the high chair in advance, so she's not trying to figure out eating and sitting at the same time!

Grasping at toucans

Madeline is moving from intent observer to determined manipulator - she's using her hands as a means of discovery more than ever. I mentioned a couple months ago that she was beginning to notice her surroundings, including the lights on her jungle adventure mat. Now, she's using her hands to explore any dangling object within reach. She still hasn't mastered the art of grasping, but she's slowly and surely finding her way.

The sixteenth week

As Madeline reaches the four-month mark, I'll take the chance to run down her progress in several areas. It should be noted that four months is not a particularly busy time as far as acquiring new skills - there's a bit of a lull between three and six months, from what I gather by looking at development charts.

Talking: Madeline will talk for long periods now, and uses several different vowel sounds that rise and fall in pitch. She's mostly sticking to one syllable at a time and will occasionally come out with a hard "g" or "d" sound. Her words are directed at anything that catches her fancy - her parents, her mobile, the ceiling fan - and most often occur when she's on her back or in her chair.

Laughing: She's starting to experiment with laughter, and usually only during periods of high activity such as bouncing on daddy's knee or dancing with mom.

Hands: She's always moving her hands - studying them, sticking them in her mouth and grasping objects. She also will reach for objects and bring them to her mouth.

Legs: She's getting very strong and can support her weight with ease. She enjoys standing and loves surveying the room while standing in someone's lap. She also kicks with gusto when she's on her back and in a good mood.

Body: She can hold herself upright with little trouble these days, making her much easier to lift and carry. She can sit upright for long periods with slight assistance. On her tummy she can push up with both arms and holds her head at a 90-degree angle for extended periods. She can also look around and swivel her upper body if something catches her interest to either side. She's rolled over several times, but not consistently. She also kicks her feet in a crawling motion when she's on her tummy. But she tires of tummy time after only a few minutes.

Sleeping: She still naps frequently through the day, mostly for 30-50 minutes at a time with about 90 minutes between naps. At about 6:30 p.m. she goes down for the night, waking once at about 9 to eat and then sleeping until between 3-5 a.m. After that feeding, she'll go back down until about 6:30 or 7, making for about 12 hours of night sleep with a couple feedings thrown in.

Personality: She's a very good baby - she mostly only cries when she needs something, though it's not always easy to tell what she needs. She's very engaged and loves to study faces. She enjoys going outside but is very reserved when out of the house. She's also more quiet when guests are at our house, and generally opens up (or finally goes to sleep) when it's just us.

Fingers and toes III

Here's another installment in my series of photos capturing Madeline's smaller details.

Here's the first one.

Here's the second one.

Another weekend

Lacey and Madeline are in bed on this Monday night, and another weekend has passed us by. These last few days weren't exceptional (except for the warm Father's Day wishes I received) - just another chance to spend some quality time at home with my family. We caught up on some chores and reading, but mostly our lives these days revolve around making Madeline happy. And, for the most part, that's enough to make us happy.

I treasure the slow mornings around the house, the afternoon walks in the neighborhood as Madeline nods off in the stroller or strapped to my chest in the Baby Bjorn, and watching her face light up when she sees her parents after waking up from a restful nap.

I participated in a trail race this weekend and had planned to stay awhile after the run to mingle with old acquaintances and browse the tent displays. But as I wandered around after the race I began to notice the babies sprinkled through the crowd - in strollers and carriers, in the arms of happy parents - and suddenly all I wanted was to be home with my own little one. So I cut my morning short and returned home to my two blue-eyed ladies. Yes, it was a good weekend.

Father's Day

I have long considered Father's Day a societal afterthought - a concession to aggrieved dads who for years had taken their kids shopping for candies and supervised as their children cut out construction-paper flowers to bestow upon mothers on their special Sunday in May. In fact, Father's Day wasn't recognized by the federal government until a full 58 years after Mother's Day.

Signs of a father's perceived role are everywhere - omissions and assumptions that deliver thousands of small cuts to the psyche of men who are as much involved in their child's life as mom. The logo on Parenting Magazine reads "What Matters to Moms" - but aren't dads parents, too? Graco, a top name in baby equipment, emblazons its packaging with the slogan "Ask Moms Who Know."

So you can understand why my first Father's Day caught me off-guard. I knew it was coming, but it took me a while to realize that, this year, I would be among the celebrated honorees. Even now I think of Father's Day as something I lucked in to, but I'll take the opportunity to soak it up for a few minutes today, in between diaper changes and naps and playtime.

I'm sure that, as Madeline grows, there will be candy or cards or perhaps a colorful cutout of a flower. But this year, on my first Father's Day, I'll settle for a radiant, toothless smile, a haphazard string of babbled vowels or the soft nuzzle of a sleepy baby. It'll let me know that, despite the popular perception of the role of a father, someone special appreciates what I'm doing.

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there! You deserve it.