The thirteenth week

It's been an interesting week, not so much for Madeline's accomplishments as for what I've learned.

Lacey returned to work this week, so I have had Madeline all to myself during the day. And, suddenly, I understand. I understand what it means to be completely responsible. Not that I was disconnected before - I often look after Madeline while Lacey naps or runs errands, and I have spent many long nights tending to the baby while Lacey sleeps. But, mostly, whenever I am home, Lacey is home too.

But every evening, when I go to work, Lacey is home alone with the baby. And now I understand what she has been experiencing. As the adult, I'm responsible for knowing when Madeline needs to eat and sleep, when she wants to play or just be rocked. And sometimes I need to make her do things she doesn't want to do, like settle down and take a nap when she's tired. Sounds easy - she's tired, so put her down and she'll sleep, right? Anyone who's raised a child knows it's seldom that simple.

Again, I don't think I was disconnected from responsibility before Lacey went back to work, but when she's here there is always someone to consult with, to reaffirm my correct decisions or tell me what I'm doing wrong. When she's at work, it's just me.

So far I've truly enjoyed it. Though it's stressful at times, it's an amazing feeling to get it right - to figure out what she needs, to calm her and to elicit one of her heart-melting smiles or a giddy chirp. And I am looking forward to the coming months and, perhaps, years as Madeline and I have our special father-daughter time together on weekdays. (And it will make me appreciate even more the time Lacey is home with us!)

It's a rough life

Sometimes it must be tough being a baby - your mean parents wake you up from your third nap of the day to take you to a comfy couch, cuddle up with your mom and eat. Coincidentally, she looks how I feel most mornings when I get woken up, too!

Back to work

Lacey returned to work today. Having her home for the last 12 weeks has been wonderful, but I think part of her was ready to go back - to get out of the house and to use her brain for something other than thinking about the baby (although I imagine she'll still be doing plenty of that).

Before Madeline, our work schedules meant Lacey and I only saw each other on weekends. That's a big reason why these last three months have been so nice (outside the stress of having a new baby) - we've had plenty of time together. And Lacey is returning on a part-time basis - she'll be in the office only three days a week - so we'll still see each other for at least a few minutes every day.

I don't imagine the transition will be too tough. Madeline will eat from a bottle a couple times a day, but she's done well with the bottle in the past so I have no reason to fear things will be different now. Lacey will have to navigate the issue of pumping at work, which I think was her major concern.

I think we're all excited to get this new phase under way and see how things work out. This is going to be "normal" now - Lacey's three-month leave was necessary and fruitful, but now it's time to move forward and get on with our new, "real" life.

I won't be needing this

I guess she wasn't quite ready to be pacified.

Fresh and clean

cute [kyut] – (adj.) pleasingly pretty; Baby Madeline wrapped in a towel fresh from her morning bath.

The dangling monkey

When Madeline gets excited, those little legs really start working. And Mallory the Monkey - the red simian hanging from the chair in the video - really makes her excited.

The twelfth week

Well, here we are at three months. Madeline is eating like a champ and sleeping 8 hours a night. She laughs and talks and smiles so much that it's hard for me to accomplish other things around the house. I always want to be around her to see what she'll do next and to soak up her cuteness. So, this week, I'll just post these pictures that I've taken over the last few days.

Finding her hands

Today we noticed that Madeline seems to be discovering her hands. We've read about an almost sudden change where babies will begin to study their hands with great interest. Today we saw her, on two occassions, quietly staring at her clenched fist, which she held about five inches from her face. She would contemplate it for several seconds and then move her fist to her mouth (she's been sucking her thumb more deliberately over the last week or so, too).

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Obviously these pictures don't depict what I've described above - I didn't have my camera handy when she was inspecting her hand. I did take these pictures today and wanted to post them, even if they're not germane!

Learning to sit

Madeline is getting better at supporting herself when she's sitting, but she's not there yet...

The eleventh week

It's now been three consecutive nights that Madeline has slept more than 8 hours in a row. Lacey and I are going to start getting spoiled soon - we weren't expecting to get to this point for another month or more. But, like we've said before, every night is its own adventure, and what happens one night might have no bearing on following nights.

We haven't had any more rollovers this week, but every day we enjoy Madeline's increasing engagement with her surroundings. She talks to us more and shows excitement frequently in her facial expressions and physical movements. And she's definitely getting bigger - she noticeably fills out her clothes more snugly and feels heavier when we hold her. We suspect she went through a growth spurt within the last couple weeks and are looking forward to getting her updated measurements in another week or so.

A full night

Last night, for the first time, Madeline slept for over 8 hours during the night. Of course, Lacey was awake at the normal overnight feeding time - about 2:30 a.m. - and couldn't sleep because she was wondering what the baby was doing. And I didn't get to bed until after 1:30 a.m., so when Madeline was ready to start her day at about 6:45 I had only been asleep for a few hours.

Madeline's all-night sleep session was the culmination of more than a week of regular 6- to 7-hour overnight periods, so she's definitely moving in the right direction.

Mobile video

Madeline enjoys watching the sea-creature mobile in her crib. And I enjoy watching her enjoy it!

When babies get excited

Madeline's awake times are getting more and more energetic. Of course she's already rolled from front to back, and she's this close to rolling over back to front. And when she's excited she really gets those arms and legs moving.

The tenth week

Shortly after we brought Madeline home, I apologized to Lacey in advance in case I were to ever speak to her in baby talk. I spend so much of my day talking to Madeline that I sometimes forget to switch to adult mode when addressing my wife. I don't mean the high-pitched "goo-goo" talk, but things like not using pronouns and calling her "mommy" in the third person. (ie, "What's mommy going to have for lunch today?") I imagine this will only get worse as Madeline starts to talk more.

The big story this week has been Madeline's newfound mobility. It's been amazing watching her intellect blossom and evolve over the past weeks, but her rollovers this week have been the first instances of her actually moving herself. She's no longer a sedentary sack of cuteness (well, most of the time she still is). She's also been kicking her legs a lot more, and pushing off when I put my hands on the bottom of her feet. I just know she'll be crawling before we know it.

The other big development this week has been Madeline's sleeping patterns. Every night this week she's gone to bed between 8 and 9 p.m. and stayed asleep until her 2-3 a.m. feeding. After that feeding she'll sleep soundly until about 6:30. And she's been sleeping all night in her crib. This means her parents are actually getting some good sleep (for Lacey, it's the first good sleep she's had in months).

She's all hands

It's fun to watch as Madeline uses her hands more. She occasionally grabs objects that are in within reach, although it still seems accidental. I guess soon she'll discover her hands and nothing will be safe again.

As a side note, Lacey reports that Madeline rolled over a couple times yesterday morning, proving that Sunday's events were not a fluke.

Saying hello

I received my new video camera today, and this is some of the first footage of Madeline. Due to the time-consuming nature of uploading video to the blog, I will still be posting mostly still photographs, but I hope to share the occasional movie.

My birthday

One year ago today, I celebrated my birthday in Death Valley. Lacey and I packed the bare essentials and flew out West to camp and hike for five days in one of the most brutal environments on Earth. Today we celebrated the date by taking our daughter to Maymont Park in the sunny, perfect weather of early May.

Two celebrations, a world apart. Gone for now are the days of globe-trotting adventures for Lacey and me. We traveled extensively in recent years knowing that luxury would be finite. At the time, it was hard to imagine a life centered around our home, a life that wasn't enthralled by the exploration of the distant corners of our world.

I don't write this with animosity. I once thought that I might later look back on those adventures with a sense of longing for what once was. But today I never wished I was anywhere else. A year ago, miles into a desolate, lifeless canyon under a baking desert sun, I turned to Lacey and said, "this is exactly where I want to be right now." I couldn't think of another location or activity that would be superior to that moment. Today, sitting with my wife and daughter on a carpet of green less than 10 miles from our home, I had the exact same thought.

This is exactly where I want to be.

On a roll

This afternoon Madeline hit a big milestone - she rolled over. She had just eaten and was in a good mood, so I put her on her tummy for some play time. I had my camera at the ready, and before I knew what was happening she rolled onto her back.

I was astonished - when I put her on her tummy I thought she might raise her head and do some pushups. I wasn't even thinking about her rolling over. And I think she was just as surprised as I was - slowly a smile crept across her face and she began to chirp and coo.

I put her on her stomach again and almost before I could move my hands away she rolled over again. And then she did it again. After three good rollovers she was worn out, but my spirits were high. After weeks of gradual developmental improvements (watching and grasping objects and more frequent vocalizations), we were excited to have a more momentous occasion to celebrate.

The ninth week

It's been a quiet week, a good week. The days have been nice and the nights are slowly getting better. Madeline's daily schedule has become as predictable as the seasons.

Madeline sleeps well for the first part of the night, from about 9 p.m. until about 2:30 a.m. Occasionally she'll need to be comforted to fall back to sleep, but she usually doesn't need to be picked up. After her 2:30 feeding, though, things can be a little more tenuous. Once she's put back down she often grunts and cries out, even though she might not be awake. And she's generally ready to get her day started by about 5:30.

As some of you may know, I work evenings at the newspaper. So it basically works out that Madeline is sleeping well during the early of the part of the night when Lacey is in bed, and then is restless and awake once I come home and try to sleep. But Lacey has been nice about letting me sleep a little in the morning.

Notes from this week

- Lacey and I were amused Thursday as Madeline grabbed the pacifier from her mouth and then tried to put it back in, sideways. While it was pretty funny to watch, it was also a good indicator that she's working on her hand-eye coordination. She still doesn't grab objects purposefully, but she grasps things she comes in contact with casually.

- We've started putting Madeline to bed in her crib again after letting her sleep in her swing in our bedroom for a few weeks. When the acid reflux was in full force, she would only sleep when she was in motion. Now that the symptoms are mostly gone we're hoping she'll take to her crib, sparing us from listening to all those small grunts throughout the night. So far it seems to be going well.